Top 5 things I don't like about working in an office...

1) I can hear everyone's conversation about everything that has ever happened to them. I know when people's kids are sick, the their in-laws are in town, what they shot of the golf course the other day, etc.... I don't care... please step outside and finish your conversation there...where no one is working or on a business phone call.

2) Farting. I work in an office and people fart...at the their desks...... loudly.....and we have cubicles, not full height walls. If special lights were turned on... the air might actually be green, as if Pepe le Pew walked by... le stink!

3)Inappropriate work attire.... I don't own a business  and never really have, and I pretty sure that wearing the TIGHTEST jeans on the planet are not appropriate, no matter how sexy you are...ever! How tight is too tight? If I can see a hard line crease in your jeans where your butt meets your thighs, A) your jeans are too tight... B) you might want to eat some yogurt...I'm just saying...

4) Disrepect for others food and food containers. So while I am not prepared to storm into my office asking who drank my apple juice, I do wonder who used all my mocha latte creamer and who ate the last of my jello... I am watching...

4 continued) Also- if you lunch container is on the verge of being consumed by the next 3-D version of swamp thing, I suggest you throw the entire container away. Not me nor the enitre office is ready to get E.coli or some other alien bacteria because you can't  remember toss your chicken piccata turned oozy green/blue/blue mush with mold flowers.

5) Use of unnecessary force: see conversation below.

Office Manager: "You need to clean up your work in teh library. We have a lunch and learn today and we will need those tables."

Me: " Yes, I know.. I only plan to work for a little while longer and then I will move my work back to my desk. Besides its only 8 am and the presenation isn't until noon."

OM: "Well you still need to clean up your work, because we will need ALL of the tables for the presentation. Also, your department loves to leave all the chairs spread out through the room.... so you should be sure to tuck ALL of the chairs in at the correct tables before the presentation as well."

Me: "Um..ok."

I immediately clean up my space in the library and when  I go back to put the chairs away. The tables cloths have already been set out for lunch. It was 8:15 am.