Wednesday, January 26, 2011


One of the things I plan on diving into ALL the time is my serious angst regarding children. Not other people's children, but my future children.  That's right, children who don't currently even exist. Today, while reading Clutch Magazine (Great online Mag full of well-written opinion pieces) was a fantastic article about a woman who does not want to be a mother at this moment in time. She talks about how someone regarded that decision as selfish and assumes that as soon as this phase passed in her life, she would be aching to have babies...

You can see my response to the article and the other responses: here.

In response to my response, I found this quote and thought it very telling:

It was palpable, all that wanting: Mother wanting something more, Dad wanting something more, everyone wanting something more. This wasn't going to do for us fifties girls; we were going to have to change the equation even if it meant . . . abstaining from motherhood, because clearly that was where Mother got caught.

     - Anne Taylor Fleming, U.S. author and essayist. Motherhood Deferred, ch. 4 (1994).

As I said on Clutch, choosing to NOT have a child is selfish for who? The woman? If she thinks that she will be happy and satisfied with her life without kids, who are we to judge? Is it selfish to her unborn children? Doubtful. What is more selfish, not having kids when you don't want them or having kids when you don't want them? Children deserve loving parents who even if they didn't plan for them, still WANTED and WANT them. Otherwise, the parents can sometimes resent the children who represent all the things they could have done. Being a parent is a blessing and no one should have children unless they want to.

Finally, what makes a woman selfish for wanting to maintain a lifestyle that she wants? No one says that to bachelors who don't want to settle down. Do we possess some crazy instinctual need to birth someone? Maybe, but probably no more than men  feel the urge to spread their seed into anything with two legs....

PS: In no way am I speaking to parents who did not want kids at a certain time, meaning your babies came before you thought you were ready.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Service and the Way We Treat Each Other....

With the passing of the MLK holiday, I thought that it would be a perfect time to reflect on my standards of living and how much more I could do for those less fortunate. I started a post a while ago and the text sat lifelessly on the screen. Everything I wrote seemed very trite and like a cliche you try out after just learning about similes and metaphors. Yes, we should help others, but who has time for that between kids, work, commuting, and grocery shopping.  And yes, on Saturdays I should wake up and travel to the shelter and help feed some homeless people who could really use the food, but Saturday is my only day to sleep in, do an intense work out, and study for the GMAT....

and then I listen to myself sounding like the type of American the rest of the world despises...

I am truly too stuck in the fog of my own life, more often than not, to realize how amazing my life actually is. I don't mean I am SO amazing and perfect and stuck up. I mean that I am blessed and don't do enough to spread those blessings around.

My husband recently showed me a snippet of a TED lecture that was such an awakening. If you don't know what TED talks/ lectures are, you should look them up. Jill Bolte Taylor got me within two minutes of this clip.The clip is approximately 20 minutes long, and I know that is a long time to try and stay on some crazy lady's blog- but this is worth it. Dr. Taylor describes the difference between the different sides of the brain and how human behavior might be a little kinder if we were able to tap into the right hemisphere more often. This epiphany was brought on by a stroke and her recovery....

I have added her to my personal list of heroes.... I think she is amazing and I would love to meet her and tell her so.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

X eludes me.....

To anyone else studying for the math portion of a standardized test... I salute you. We, verbal folk, are not meant for these calculations and data sufficiency questions... We are the people of reading comprehension, essay writing, and sentence correction.  Yes I do know the difference between their, there and they're and I know the difference between postulate, pontificate, and predicate.... but I do not and might not ever know what "x" least for today.

Monday, January 10, 2011

To my husband.....

Enid Bagnold:

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again.... We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.

Gainesy: I love you.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Literary Musings...

An awesome passage from what I am reading now...

On The Road by Jack Kerouac:

But  then they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight and pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

Monday, January 3, 2011

Introduction, please!

I would like to introduce everyone to my boyfriend. Yes, if you read my profile, it does say that I am married. But I have to tell you that this new thing in my life takes up so much time! I forget errands, I lose track of time, and I always feel on edge while in the middle of our time. Yes, my boyfriend's name is MAT, as in my GMAT prep test booklet. (*swoon*, it teaches me math!)

Part of the reasoning of this blog is to condition myself to a new type of schedule. Since I have been out of school, ah hem, for a while, the art of studying seems somewhat foreign, but in a good way. I feel so learned sitting with my books in Starbucks, multiplying x's, factoring, calculating percentages, and more. Yes, way more. I also have come to peace with the fact that you will ultimately at some point in life have to use the math that you should have learned in high school. Can anyone remember what a hyperbola is? No?  For all those English majors, its not a typo, a hyperbole is something else.This new 2011 schedule involves writing down inspirations for the blog, studying for the math part of the test,  keeping my hubris in check regarding the verbal section, work, and husband time.

A recent discovery, while pondering my journey around "the wall" (if you don't know what I am talking about, read back a few posts), was that I needed to hurry up and go to graduate school, if I ever plan on going. 30 is knocking at my door and soon babies will be required of me (still yet another story for later) and the thought of being pregnant or having a toddler at home while I am trying to get it on with my GMAT test booklet is daunting, if not down right frightening. So, is anyone else on the verge of procuring a post graduate degree? Any b-school applicants feeling the heat like me? I would love to know that there are others out there feeling like its now or never for grad school!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Good Bye 2010 and Hello 2011!!!

Yesterday, my husband and I went to a small gathering of friends to ring in the new year. The hostness prepared an end-of-the-year exercise for all those in attendance to participate. We all wrote down on a small piece of paper some bad behavior or negative thought that we did not want to carry into the new year with us. Then we burned the piece of paper and selected an affirmation from a randomly scattered about pile. This year, I am determined to do away with my habit of procrastination. I burned it!!! For too long have I not done things, because I could convince myself to do them later. And what purpose does that serve? This behavior certainly doesn't help me. Do you know how many things I could have accomplished, if I had just done them??? Good bye Procrastination, you are no longer welcome here!

The affirmation I chose said "I am courageous in 2011!"

I am super excited about that! I AM courageous and will be so for the remainder of 2011 and so on. It's amazing how the passing of a single day can help you feel released from a whole year's worth of  weight. As  2011 begins, I look forward to the more courageous version of myself, who gets things done promptly and then does more things, promptly! Usually, we all list out ridiculously ambiguous goals for the new year like "eat healthier," "be more active", " be nicer," etc. when really what we could probably use are 2-3 simple concrete behavioral changes that would affect everyday lives.  And yes, being more courageous in 2011 falls into that category of poorly defined resolutions, but so what! Its makes me feel good.

On the phone today with my family, we all shared our hopes and resolutions for the new year. All of the adults talked about being more patient, being kinder, working harder, taking care of self, and all other sorts of mental and spiritual improvements (similar to the point I made in the previous paragraph). Our 10 year old niece got on the phone and then said that in 2011, she wants to be able to shoot a basketball further and learn how to play tennis. Period.  Apparently, 10-year-olds need no spiritual improvement, just simple easy to achieve physical goals. Self-assurance and esteem help be damned!

Of course, upon hearing her simple concrete goals listed for 2011, my new internal resolution, after self improvement and all that, is to get on the treadmill at least 2 times a week. Now, tell me I am not courageous!