Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A working woman's holiday thought

As a lot of people sat down and prepared for two weeks worth of laying in the bed and hot-cocoa drinking, I thought of all the work that I needed to get done at the office. Has anyone else suffered like this? As matter of fact, I type this while sitting at my desk 45 minutes and one staircase away from my electric blanket and eggnog. I don't necessarily mind that I have work to do, I mean, I love my job. And not just in a "I'm glad to have a job" sort of way. The people I work for are fantastic and would be upset to learn that I am at my desk 2 days after Christmas while the entire office is closed. What concerns me is my general acceptance of  deciding to work when everyone else is off. I don't have immediate deadlines. No one is harping on me to get things done. It is a totally self-created requirement to forego vacation time and work.

I could throw out general statements like "we as Americans feel the need to work" or "people do what they need to do to get ahead." But truthfully, its simply just hard to turn off. We go to college, we work hard to get a job, then you work hard at your job so you can get promoted and make more money. We all seem to have this natural need to work, even when it isn't necessarily required. How many of you get emails on a BlackBerry or iPhone.? Do you really need to answer all those emails immediately? Will your project fall through if you respond tomorrow? (Sidenote: I am not asking this question to doctors, sales people, entertainment folk or anyone who does international business). It just seems like our incessant need to be available to our jobs will always be an issue. Family time? Sorry, can't play scrabble because I am answering an email that a client sent egregiously late at night.

Secretly, I know that part of the reason that I work so hard (even during vacations) is so that no one thinks that I can't hang! My totally unfounded fear convinces me that I need to prove that I can do what needs to be done at all times. Because I know that as soon as I take maternity leave, as soon as the baby comes, the advancement of my career slows down by 6 weeks, at least.

So yes – I went from working during the holidays, to how great my job is, to generalizations about Americans' need to work, to unlikely discrimination due to motherhood.

Yup, join the party.... there is plenty of room. Do any other women feel this besides me?

Monday, December 27, 2010

Presenting a moment of teenage boredom

We recently rediscovered the awesomeness of the WU-TANG  Clan. Yes, the wu-tang clan. I hadn't forgotten about them, they just simply slipped from memory after what I think is my favorite song: 

What's up 1997! That's right, 97! Yes..... behold the awesomeness of Old dirty bastard, Inspecka Deck, Method Man, Cappa Donna, U-God, the Rza, the Gza, Mastah Killah, Ghostface Killah, and Raekwon.  The names are so awesome that various websites have created a  Wu-Tang Name generator. That's right with the mere click of a button you can have your total personality sized down into two to three words while also referencing one of the greatest rap groups of all time. It was so entertaining that I generated wu-alias' for my entire family:

Me: Violent Contender (maiden name) Embryonic Crusadah (married name)
Husband: Smilin' Bastard
Sister: Cheeky Delinquent
Mom: Irate Leader

I cannot even begin to tell you how spot on these names are.... I will leave that for another post!

Friday, December 24, 2010

This Catharsis!

I will tell you up front, this blog is completely about me. I realized not too long ago that I was swiftly approaching a wall. And this wall seemed to obscure the entirity of my vision preventing any sort of real ability to make decisions about my life. And now, like Now now, I realize that this wall is simply a specific moment in life where not only do you have to grow up but you have to start making these serious decisions about life. Real decisions. Consequential decisions. We are talking about the decisions that your older cousins were making when you were a kid and they seemed so cool and together. How did I suddenly become that cousin who had graduated college and is working full time- and MARRIED? Did my cousins really have it that together when they were in their late twenties?

So as a result of hitting this period in life that I have labeled the wall, I decided that there has to be people, mostly woman (as my wall also includes a supreme fear of having babies), who are hitting this wall to. Hell, maybe you hit that wall 2 years ago and are just trying to figure out how to get around it.  I would like to think that my online journal of thought and frustation will be source of humor and empathy for others out there like me. I don't dare call this advice because I frankly don't know what I am doing.  Its about feeling like you are on the precipis of the best and worst decision of your life while being hopeful, yet confused and running late for work.